Ten things I'm going to try in the new year.
1 Watch at least one of the "Lord of the Rings".
2 Stop rubbing Joan's personal lotion on my hands at work before rubbing the eye glasses Jim leaves at work. (Double the evil, double the fun.)
3 Tell my youngest son the lump in my fore arm is caused by an over my active healing process and is not an electronic chip implanted by aliens.
4 By my own damn Chia pet and stop asking for one every Christmas and being bitterly disappointed.
5 Hang my coat up like a normal person when arriving in my office, instead of doing a strip tease utilizing the condiment shelves in lew of a pole. (Barrel turns the camera's on to only my office to watch me when he is on guard duty, instead of a 4 second rotation between all the different cameras. I know watching me in much more interesting but ick.)
6 Refrain from naming wild cats bizarre names such as Gingus Cat, Catskills Mountain, and Harriet, then expecting them to remember their new identities. I must also stop calling my inmates by the same names. (Harriet was my deaf mum's name. Harriet is also the semi albino hard of hearing cat. And my pot scraper.)
7 Embrace my inner freak by utilizing my fondue pot and that thing under my sink as I have always dreamed.
8 Take out additional insurance before attempting #7.
9 Write more stories complete with paragraghs and puctuation instead of easy lists.
10 Walk down my steps like a civilized individual without yelling "Weee! I can fly!" as I leap off my deck. Unless of course, I do manage to grab more air on the way down tomorrow.
ahem did you notice I did not mention Rock once in this post? he was going to be #10 but i held myself back
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1 comment:
First off, I like your lists. I like the stories but I only have so much attention span.
See The Lord of the Rings. Pay careful attention to the manliness that is Aragorn.
Buy a chia pet. I recently bought myself cheap espresso machine. If I can, you can.
Don't go down the stiars like a civilized person. They'll come after you if you do.
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